The prospect of flirting with women is enough to drive many men into a panic attack. Yet it need not be such a scary thing. All you have to do is keep these 3 keys in mind:
It’s Not a Team Sport
Flirting women is something that you need to do alone. It puts too much pressure on a woman when she sees that you’ve got your buddies around watching your game (or slyly pretending not to). This is about you and her, and that’s exactly how she wants it to feel. The nearby presence of your pals may artificially boost your confidence, but it makes her feel like a trophy in a contest.
Of course, flirting with women is quite difficult when she’s always got herself surrounded by her friends too. And just as you don’t her to see your posse backing you up, it won’t help matters any greater to approach her while she’s hanging with her posse. For one, she can’t really be herself around her friends. Granted, she may feel like that’s when she’s freest to be herself. But really she can’t be herself around you unless you catch her alone. And for another thing, she’s got a peanut gallery surrounding her feeding all of their unsolicited opinions of you.
So if the girl you’re interested in is traveling in a flock, be patient, and wait for her to split off from her friends for a moment. Then begin flirting. And if it’s going well, approach her, when her guard is down. That’s when you’ll both have the best chance of being real with each other.
Silent Signals
Much of flirting with women is not about what you say so much as it about the messages you’re communicating with your body language. For example, what do you think the following communicates to a woman?:
• avoiding eye contact
• shifting your weight from foot to foot
• the tapping toes or bouncing knee syndrome
• slouched shoulders
• sunken chest
• grim expression
• gripping the seat, table, or your drink
If you said anything similar to insecurity, low self-esteem, nervousness, meekness, or anything of the like, then you’re absolutely right! And all of these qualities, needless to say, are total turn-offs to women.
Now, what do you think the following body language says to a woman?:
• eye contact (making it and holding it)
• smiling
• sitting up straight or standing upright
• shoulders back
• chest out
• a still and solid presence void of any nervous twitching, shaking, or fidgeting
• loose hands, relaxed at your sides
If you said that these things communicate a man with poise, self-confidence, self-awareness, powerful presence, and contentment with his lot in life, then you’re right on the money. And all of these features, of course, are immensely attractive to women.
Relax
Lastly, as beautiful as she may be, she’s just another human being inside, with her own hopes, fears, gifts, and insecurities. And coming across with any sort of tension – be it nervousness or desperation – only makes her feel tense. If you’re uptight, she’ll feel it, and become uptight herself. But if you’re relaxed, that helps her to feel relaxed in your presence.
Emotions are contagious. So be careful with them. They could be one of your greatest hindrances to successfully flirting with women, or they could be one of your greatest assets.
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