by Alex Allman, author of Revolutionary Sex
Many couples struggle with the fact that MOST women do not have orgasms during intercourse.
It’s worth remembering that 1 in 7 women will go to their grave without ever experiencing an orgasm. And that is a huge shame, because they so easily could experience the pinnacle of sexual pleasure if they had the right lover to help guide them there.
But for most women, orgasm is possible… but only with direct stimulation of the clitoris.
Now of course, one simple trick that will usually solve the problem is making love in a position that allows either partner to stimulate the clitoris with a well lubed finger at the same time.
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The Problem: Sexually Unsatisfied Women
By now it’s become common knowledge that many women do not achieve orgasm during intercourse. This sole fact has been the cause of much of the friction that goes on between couples, since a man leaves the sexual encounter satisfied while the woman…not so much.
One reason people typically give for this happening is that the man ejaculates too soon and after that is too “spent” to continue the lovemaking session until the woman finishes too. But as those women who are (supposedly) fortunate enough to have men with great stamina will tell you, duration of intercourse is not always enough to take a woman to orgasm. In fact it rarely is.
So if stamina isn’t the issue, then what is? The answer, of course, is technique.
The Solution: Coital Alignment Technique
Enter coital alignment technique. Called CAT for short, this is a sexual position that is designed to help stimulate the woman’s clitoris more than in “ordinary” sex and thereby helping the woman to achieve orgasm more easily.
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So you want to be a swinger? You like the idea of variety in your sexual partnerings. You want to be a part of that world – one filled with constant newness and pleasure. Well lucky for you, you’ve come to the right place. Whether you’re a single individual or a member of a couple, here we present to you a quick and concise guide on everything you need to know to get started swinging.
Where to Find Other Swingers
In order to experience the many pleasures of swinging, you of course need to find other swingers to explore them with. For this you have several options:
Private Parties – Mostly by invite only and word-of-mouth, and occasionally through advertisements, these will be harder for the novice to encounter and get involved in. Every once in a while, though, you’ll find notice of such an event posted on Craigslist or on a social networking site like Facebook or Yahoo! Groups. You may likewise be able to Google a local swingers’ website based in your area with a contact list you can join and access. And keeping on that same broadband track, while it’s nice to know that private swingers’ parties exist for later on when you’re an experienced swinger, for now there are easier and perhaps less intimidating places to start, namely where you already are: the world wide web…
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Don’t rush it and don’t finish too fast. This is probably the singular piece of advice men hear most from the women they’re sleeping with. “Slow down! It isn’t a race!”
As a general rule women take longer to climax than men. Deal with it. You want to make her happy, make her keep coming back for more, then you’ve got to tether your own wild horses until you’ve given hers a good, long, and satisfying ride. How?
Easier said than done, we know. Men get excited, they shoot their load, they’re done and out for the count. That’s been their norm since puberty. Changing that may seem overwhelming and, in some cases, just plain impossible. But it’s not.
To last longer in bed with a woman:
Pull back before it’s too late: Lasting longer isn’t a matter of will, it’s a matter of self-control. The ability to take pauses before reaching the point of no return. Take time out from whatever activity is stimulating your genitalia (and other parts) and give some extra attention to hers.
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Beauty isn’t the only thing in the eye of the beholder. So is penis size, for one. And despite popular misconception – bigger is not necessarily better.
Some women can’t get enough of huge members; others live by the credo that “more than a mouthful” is just too much. But far more important than what your woman thinks about it is what you think about it. Because your own position on the self-esteem scale weighs more heavily in any relationship than the weight of your penis.
Benefits of Being Too Small or Too Big
Too small? Too big? There are hidden advantages to both sides of the equation. For example:
Too small could mean:
You’re less likely to cause her pain and discomfort during sex
She’s more likely to be able to take all of you into her mouth for a great blow-job
She’s more likely to be open to anal sex because of your un-intimidating size.
You have less trouble getting raging erections than men who have trouble getting enough blood engorging their members to have and maintain a decent hard-on.
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No, toys are not just for children. There are a slew of adult toys on the market that make sex more fun, exciting, and satisfying for both you and her.
Introducing an accessory into the bedroom (figuratively speaking) may seem like a bold and risky maneuver, as if by doing so you’re suggesting that “mere” sex alone between the two of you isn’t satisfying enough in and of itself. That you need a separate tool or device to make it enjoyable now.
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Ah, cunnilingus. It’s the holy grail of sex acts, for both sexes, insofar as raising you above the slushpile of men who just stick it in, shoot, and roll over. Women yearn to find a man who loves to do it and knows how to do it well; men yearn to be the one able to bring women to untold heights of pleasure unattainable with most other men.
You don’t need an article to tell you that if you learn how to masterfully eat a woman out, you’ll have them eating out of the palm of your hand. But you might need an article to instruct you as to just how to achieve that.
Lucky for you, here is that very guide!
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You know what your reputation is, don’t you guys? That all you want is sex.
And hey, it might even be true (at least in part). But validating that reputation is unlikely to win you any prizes with women (at least not most women, and those it does, not for long). Even when your hard-to-hide rapacious sexual appetite does get you laid now and again, it’s not going to get you past first base when it comes to scoring a meaningful and lasting relationship.
If You Want a Second Date…
…then forget about sex on the first. That’s not to say it won’t sometimes happen. But when and if it does, it’s got to happen naturally.
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