Attracting women is a very counter-intuitive process. Most of the ‘common-sense’ dating tips & advice you’re likely to think you’re “supposed to” do in dating to make a woman like you – i.e. treat them with courtesy and respect – turn out only to make her want to get as far away from you as she can.
While most of the things you would naturally assume would turn her off only keep her coming back for more. In that vein, this article is designed to show you exactly those counterintuitive measures that you might think women are all just waiting for a guy to exhibit but instead will only do just the opposite, making her lose interest in you, and fast.
1. Don’t tell her how you feel. Not until she tells you first. Even if she begs you to tell her, play it low key until after she’s already confessed her feelings to you. Down-play your feelings, if you have to say anything at all. Don’t worry, you’re not going to lose her off your hook.
On the contrary, keeping her guessing about your feelings for her is a sure-fire way to keep her on the line, and tugging ever-harder. The last thing a guy wants to do is display that he likes a girl more than she likes him. That’s the beginning of the end right there.
In order for you to have her, she needs to pine for you. And she can’t do that if you’re pining for her. Just keep in mind, the more you make her want you, the more she’s going to want you. That’s simple enough to understand. But the opposite is also true, and much harder for most men to remember.
That is: the more you want her, the less she’s going to want you. It’s a tug-of-war, pure and simple. And you can be in control of the outcome by loosening up on the slack and letting her tug her little heart out until she’s so plum exhausted you can just yank her over to your side of the mud-pit with a simple flick of the wrist.
2. Don’t call. When you call a girl too often, you put all this emotional pressure on her that she only knows how to deal with one way and one way only – by avoiding you completely.
A guy who calls a girl too soon after meeting, getting her number, or going out on a date, or simply a guy who calls too often comes across as needy, clingy, desperate – all those things nobody (man or woman) likes in a prospective partner. He seems like he has nothing else of importance going on in his life other than hounding her.
And since she probably doesn’t think that highly of herself (as is the case for so many single women), she’s left thinking you’ve got nothing better going for you than her – and that’s not much at all; she would know! If, on the other hand, she’s complaining to her girlfriends and coworkers that “He never calls”, then you’re on the right track. Remember that when a woman is complaining about a man’s behavior, she’s in that man’s throes. He’s all she can think about, occupying her every waking moment. He’s monopolized her mental and emotional energy. He’s taken over her day. And all by doing nothing. Literally. Then, when you do finally call, it’s been so long-awaited that she’s practically chomping at the bit to talk with you.
3. Don’t give her the power. Another way to put this is to say – don’t be too easy. Yes, we’ve all been conditioned to believe that women like to be in control of the relationship when they’re with a man, and while that may be true, in part, the hidden result is that she loses all interest in the man she’s with. Most of them don’t know this, but women can either have control or they can have the man of their dreams, but they can’t have both.
Unfortunately for everyone, most men think that by giving women control – over what they do and don’t do on a date, over how fast or slow the relationship is moving, over the direction of the conversations happening – that they are in essence being the man of those women’s dreams. But nothing can be further from the truth.
Women may want control, but they don’t really like it. Let them manipulate you and they’re like a cat whose lost interest in its toy; struggle with them and they’re captivated. On a surface level, women may enjoy having their way for a moment or two, but then they quickly come to realize that their way isn’t all that appealing to them. They’re tired of their way. They want someone to step in and change their way.
Rock their world. Set it on its ear. And that’s not going to happen by letting them call the shots, because that only brings them more of the same. More of the same old, same old that has only succeeded in getting them where they already are – alone, lonely, bored, and miserable. Women may not like it when a guy refuses to be their doormat, but they need it (and they need it bad).
It may ruffle their feathers at first, when you say “No, I don’t want to do that, let’s do this instead…”, or “No, I don’t agree at all with what you’re saying, I think it’s like this…”, but it also engages them like no wishy-washy dupe could ever hope to achieve. In today’s day and age, it might be considered sexist to say that a man has to put a woman in her place to make her interested in him, but calling it sexist doesn’t make it any less true. Most women just aren’t interested in a submissive man.
Even if they themselves don’t desire to be submissive, they still at least want a guy with strength of character, who knows what he likes and wants (and what he doesn’t) and isn’t afraid to say so. They seek a take-charge, go-getter kind of guy. They seek the excitement that comes from having to battle occasionally for control and not have it handed to them on a silver platter.