If you didn’t want to hear the advice about admitting you don’t need your ex, you’re really going to hate this one – but it’s part of the program and you can’t expect the program to work without it. So here goes…

You have to get yourself back out there into the dating pool again.

Sorry to say it, but it’s essential. A must-do.

Commit to yourself (there’s that commitment word again – are you sure you want your ex back?) to go out on at least 3 dates over the course of the next 3 weeks. (And not with you ex, for goodness sake!)

You Need To Date Other Women

Is that a line your ex used on you before breaking up with you? Again, sorry if it hurts, but it’s true. Even if you may not have needed to date other people then, you do now. Because now you’ve broken up, and you’re broken up about it.

You need to rebuild that confidence in yourself as an attractive catch that made your ex attracted to you in the first place. And the only way to rebuild a shattered confidence is in the field. Through action.

It’s time to put up or shut up.

And don’t try to cheat by dating an old friend or an old flame. These need to be new people. Or one new person whom you date 3 times – that’s fine too. But it cannot be someone you already know. Period.

Now if you’re like most people, you have one of two things running through your mind right now:

• Either: I don’t want anyone else. My ex is the only one I want.

• Or: What if my ex finds out and thinks I’m over them? They’ll get over me for sure, and then what chance will I have?

To the first concern, you can calm yourself with the reminder that this is just practice. You’re not looking to marry any of these people, and you don’t need to mislead them into thinking you are in order to just date them (and if so, forget them and try dating someone else). You’re cultivating qualities in yourself that have too long fizzled and lay dormant. That’s all. You’re rebuilding confidence, engaging positively with the world around you, getting out of your funk and depression, coming out of that self-sabotaging state of neediness, and you’re staying active, keeping your mind off your problems.

All Of The Above Can Help You Get Your Ex Back

To the second concern, you can just forget about it right now. It’s ridiculous, not even worth considering. Because even if your ex did see you out with someone else, getting over you for good because of it is probably not what would happen. Not if your ex is anything like the rest of the human race.

What really happens if your ex sees you out dating other people is that they see a much better side of you than they did when you were wallowing in self-pity over the breakup. Now your ex sees you as strong, capable. As able to pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and move on with your life in a positive direction. Now that’s attractive!

Seeing that you recognize and honor yourself for the hot commodity you are (so to speak) will only make your ex want you more.

So how do you find these new people to date? Consider online dating.

If you’re like most people, you’re tired of the bar and club scene and the people you meet there. You don’t want to spend the time or money trolling around nightspots to find someone attractive only to approach them in mortal terror and be laughed out of the room.

O.K., maybe it doesn’t usually happen that dramatically, but you know the feeling. It would be nice if there were a better way. A way that you could get past all the obstacles to meeting someone and getting to know them before you extend yourself and ask for a date, so you can find out if there’s at least any mutual attraction between you first.

Online Dating Is That Better Way

Online dating allows you to get to know people a bit before you meet them. It also takes out the anxiety of the approach – because sending an email to find out if there’s any mutual interest is a lot less scary than walking up to someone to find out in person.

The fear of rejection is a lot smaller when you’re in the comfort of your own home, separated from the person by a computer terminal and some umpteen miles.

Click here for the top 5 most visited online dating sites reviewed by yours truly

Trust in the program and believe in yourself. Go out on at least a few days before you even consider approaching your ex again.

You may not want to do it now, but in the long run you’ll be glad you did.

This was lesson #7 from a 10 part series. Watch your email inbox tomorrow for the next lesson…

Cheers,

Josh Andrews