Hot for your friend’s sister? You’re not the first guy to feel this way. It’s a common problem, actually–probably because it’s so hard as it is to meet single women in any type of natural setting or scenario.

You’ve seen her a lot, you probably know her a bit better than you know the girls you catch sight of in “the scene”, and you’ve already got the advantage of at least one thing in common.

But how do you cross that barrier without risking damaging your friendship with your love interest’s sister forever. Because friends are hard to come by too. And one false move on any your parts and it could all be over in an instant for all 3 of you. In the worst of cases, you could even be held responsible for causing a painful family rift. You certainly don’t want to do that. So what do you do?

Do you forget about it? Impossible, isn’t it. When you like someone, you like her. You can’t shut that off like a light switch.

To have even a chance of making it work with your friend’s sister, you must at least be interested in her for more than a quick bang. If that’s all you want, go find another way to get your rocks off and forget about her. Only pursue a friend’s sister if you’re seriously interested in having her as your girlfriend.

Now, if that is the case for you, then you need to first win your friend over to the idea much like the old fashioned practice of getting a father’s approval in order to date his daughter. That’s not to say you can’t date her if you don’t get your friend’s approval (fatherly acceptance certainly wasn’t a prerequisite in those days either–just a huge help). It’s a matter of respect and common decency. Your first relationship, the one you actually have right now, is with your friend. So treat your friend as such. Sit down with him or her, and respectfully let your intentions be known. It may not go well (then again, it may go better than you could ever have hoped or expected) but either way, it’s the right thing to do.

If you get the go ahead–great. If you don’t, you’ve got a decision to make. Whatever response you get from your friend, if you do decide to go ahead and pursue your friend’s sister, just remember to lean more towards the gentlemanly side of your dating demeanor than your cocky and cool side. Don’t be a total sissy, but don’t be wolf either. Also, keep your two relationships separate from one another. That show the greatest amount of respect for each of them independently.

If you play your cards right, even if you don’t get your friend’s immediate approval for your courtship of his or her precious sibling, you could win it over in time.