You’ve made it. Take a deep breath and congratulate yourself. You’ve reached the final stage of what’s no doubt been an arduous, sometimes painful and reality-shaking but ultimately rewarding and empowering process. You’ve done all the prep work you can do, and it is now finally time to put it all into action. It is time to make contact with your ex again.

This is presuming, of course, that you’ve taken the month-long clean break that was prescribed, and did all of the things you were instructed to do during that time period. If you’ve done that, then by all means, read on. If not, then before you continue reading just remember that none of this stuff will work for you if you don’t first go back and complete lessons 1-9 completely. So feel free to give yourself of glimpse of what’s to come, if you want, but don’t expect it to yield you any results until you’ve done ALL your homework first.

That said…

How To Re-Initiate Contact With Your Ex

Contacting your ex may still be an overwhelming and even intimidating concept for you, even after all the growth and confidence-building you’ve gone through. But there is a way you can approach it to give yourself the likeliest chances of success.

Before we get there, think back for a minute to when you and your ex first starting dating one another. How was that? If you’re like most people, it was an exciting (even giddy) getting-to-know you opportunity centered around doing something fun together. And chances are, when the date was over, neither of you completely wanted it to end (or else you wouldn’t have kept seeing each other again from then on). Wouldn’t it be nice to recreate that atmosphere, elicit those feelings again?

Well you can. And it’s just what you’re going to do. You’re going to ask your ex on a date. Notice, you’re not asking your ex to get back together with you. Nor are you asking your ex to have a sit-down with you where you discuss your relationship. That’s not going to happen here. For right now, all you’re doing is going out on a date – no expectation, no pressure, no strings attached.

Have Casual Fun

What did the two of you like to do together when you were first dating? Call your ex and invite them to do that. Not to get together with you, not to talk, but to participate in an activity together that you both enjoy (and both once enjoyed doing together).

Now, you can’t expect that just because you’re ready to see your ex again after a month or more of not speaking that your ex is ready to see you. If that’s the case, you’ve got to allow your ex the time to go through their process like you’ve gone through yours. Be patient, let it be known that you’d like to ask again at some point in the future, and you’ll probably be given permission to do so.

Taking a rejection gracefully, in fact, could be an even bigger boon towards you and your ex’s reconciliation than a good “first”-date could. Remember, it’s not what happens here that matters, but how you take it. How you act, behave, and respond to the circumstances as they unfold. This more than anything is what will show your ex how much you’ve changed. And you can convey this regardless of how your request for a date is received.

Preparing For The “First” Date

In preparation for this first date – whether it’s already been scheduled or you haven’t even asked yet – begin to contemplate what exactly you would have to do to recreate the excitement, giddiness, and other pleasant energies that surrounding your initial dating experiences with your ex. What did you two enjoy doing together? What was it about dating that you enjoyed? What about your ex? What made it fun for you two to spend time together? Look at it from every possible angle to understand to the best of your ability why the two of you fell in love (or whatever you want to call it) to begin with.

Have No Attachment To The Outcome

Then start planning the perfect date – again, with no attachment to the outcome but rather with the humble confidence that how it goes, you will absolutely, positively be stirring up just the right memories and feelings to make a future reconciliation a possibility. Rekindle the freshness, the newness. Rekindle the mystery, the sense of getting to know a brand new person. Rekindle the anticipation. That’s all you can ask of yourself (or your ex) at this moment.

If all goes right, you’ll be well on your way to rekindling the romance.

It may take awhile, but if you’ve done your homework thoroughly, you shouldn’t mind the wait.

Cheers,

Josh Andrews