I like meeting girls at coffee shops because their guard is down and they are easier to talk to.
To meet them I go to coffee shops that are crowded so that I'm forced to share a table. What I do is look around, find the prettiest girl, and regardless of how much stuff she has on her table, I politely ask if I can join her.
Unless she has a friend coming, the answer will always be yes.
I sit down, get my book or laptop out, and wait a few minutes before I start a conversation, where I make a comment about the environment we're in (maybe how busy the coffee shop is), a book she is reading, or something unique about her. I often say the first inoffensive question or statement that pops in my head.
Even if you don't share a table with a girl in this crowded coffee shop, the odds that a cute girl will sit next to you is several times higher than if you frequent somewhere quiet.
In coffee shops I open with lines so simple they can be seen as cliche, unlike in a venue that serves alcohol. When you are at a club or bar, you generally want to use a decent opener that gets her attention because it's very easy for her to walk or turn away. But when you are sitting next to her in the coffee shop environment, it's much more unlikely for her to immediately blow you off by leaving, so grabbing her attention is not an issue. You can open with something basic and build it up from there.
A couple months ago I went to a crowded coffee shop and spotted a cute blond girl among a wasteland of ugly people. I asked if I could sit with her and she said yes. It was almost blatant that I chose to sit at her table versus one closer, but it doesn't matter.
Right when I sat down she remarked how busy the coffee shop was (she beat me to it) and we dived right into conversation.
If you open a girl in a coffee shop and she doesn't like you, she will give you a short, polite answer and then avert eye contact and go back to her work. But if she is curious she will hold eye contact for just a second longer than necessary to encourage you to continue. And continue you shall until she looks down again into her work.
This girl just moved from North Carolina into the Washington DC area a week prior. She had only a couple friends here and no knowledge of the local scene and the cool places to hang out in. We had a lot to talk about and I gamed her like I would any other girl I was physically interested in.
Forty minutes into the conversation, I noticed that she did not ask me a single question. A girl asking you personal questions is the number one way to tell if she is interested you or not, because that's how she sizes you up as a potential hook-up, lover, or boyfriend. They ask your name, age, job, and basic background information during that initial meet. When a girl likes you, she wants to know who you are.
A conversation with someone you just met who doesn't ask about you is not a fun conversation to be in, as it was in this case. I got the feeling that she was just bored and wanted someone to talk to, sort of like how some old people visit their doctors when they are not sick just to have a conversation with another human being.
I wasn't particularly interested in her other than her looks, and I think it's a waste of time to go after someone who is not engaging you, but towards the end of the conversation she gave me a slight nudge when she said she'd like more people to go out with. In most circumstances, this will be a blatant hint that a girl wants to go out with you, but to this girl, who didn't even ask my name in now one hour of conversation, it didn't mean too much.
So here's what I did…
I told her there is this awesome place i go to on Saturday afternoons with friends and she was invited to join. I wrote down the place on a piece of paper and left my email address and a stick figure drawing of me. If she likes me as just a fellow human being, at the absolute minimum she will email and thank me for the local advice I gave her during our conversation.
She didn't email me. Not a big deal but I wasn't surprised.
If you are talking to a girl for a while and wondering if she likes you or not, all that matters is if she is asking you questions. Even extremely shy girls will do this.
If by about the twenty minute mark she doesn't at least ask you for your name or age or occupation, then that means she doesn't care about who you are. Again, no big deal, because not every girl is going to want it, but me and my soy latte will be better prepared for the next one who does.
About Author: Rooshv is a straight-talking PUA who happens to also have a degree in microbiology. After starting the successful blog DC Bachelor (which he later changed to Roosh V out of fear that his employers would fire him for the ideas he published) he switched careers and became a full-time sex & dating blogger and guru. His first book is called "Bang". While finishing up work on his second book, he is steadily blogging and leading workshops for men on how to get laid.
Similar Posts:
- Meeting Women Explained: Where the Best Places Are to Meet Women and How to Meet Women
- Crucial Tips On How To Get Girls And Keep A Woman's Attention
- 6 Topics for "Attractive "Conversation with Women
Last 3 posts by Roosh V
- When Is The Best Time To Approach A Girl?
- Why Momentum Is So Important In Getting Dates
- An Advanced Technique To Get Phone Numbers
Popularity: 3% [?]
Link to this page
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
This is okay advice. You are obviously shallow. If a girl just wants a conversation just give her a conversation and enjoy it! Don't EVER try to "get some" just have fun, and if things… lead somewhere then they do. If not who cares? You were able to fill up sometime with an interesting conversation that would have otherwise been dull and uneventful.
I'm what you call a coffee shop barnacle. I socialize there, work there, and study there. So i basically live there. This article is so true. It really helps to know when the BUSY operating times are, then sarging will be easy. Walk in, scope out the room, then proceed to find your target using the methods mentioned above. Smiling really helps.
Since most guys are more afraid of talking to a girl they just met than, say, going on a do-or-die combat mission, pretend you're not doing it for yourself but that you're "on a mission."
At least this should help you keep focus and coming up with more interesting conversation so you'll be able to "accomplish the mission."
Wow, that's genius. Good way to think of it!
let me know how to do
This is a fantastic article, I love it. Most guys do not seem to have the balls to sit down with a girl at a table like that, but once they do it a couple times, they will realize that it is not so difficult after all. I mean, what's the worst that could happen? She gets up and walks away. That won't kill you!
Another thing guys need to know, though, is your delivery and confidence has to be solid. If they sit down a t a table with a girl and are shaking in their shoes, stuttering, or their voice is cracking, she is NOT going to be attracted. You have to be confident, and if you aren't - FAKE IT until you are. Do not fidget, maintain eye contact, lean back, relax. If she does not talkt o you, strike up a conversation with a girl beside you or a guy, even, get other people involved!