I like meeting girls at coffee shops because their guard is down and they are easier to talk to.
To meet them I go to coffee shops that are crowded so that I’m forced to share a table. What I do is look around, find the prettiest girl, and regardless of how much stuff she has on her table, I politely ask if I can join her.
Unless she has a friend coming, the answer will always be yes.
I sit down, get my book or laptop out, and wait a few minutes before I start a conversation, where I make a comment about the environment we’re in (maybe how busy the coffee shop is), a book she is reading, or something unique about her. I often say the first inoffensive question or statement that pops in my head.
Even if you don’t share a table with a girl in this crowded coffee shop, the odds that a cute girl will sit next to you is several times higher than if you frequent somewhere quiet.
In coffee shops I open with lines so simple they can be seen as cliche, unlike in a venue that serves alcohol. When you are at a club or bar, you generally want to use a decent opener that gets her attention because it’s very easy for her to walk or turn away. But when you are sitting next to her in the coffee shop environment, it’s much more unlikely for her to immediately blow you off by leaving, so grabbing her attention is not an issue. You can open with something basic and build it up from there.
A couple months ago I went to a crowded coffee shop and spotted a cute blond girl among a wasteland of ugly people. I asked if I could sit with her and she said yes. It was almost blatant that I chose to sit at her table versus one closer, but it doesn’t matter.
Right when I sat down she remarked how busy the coffee shop was (she beat me to it) and we dived right into conversation.
If you open a girl in a coffee shop and she doesn’t like you, she will give you a short, polite answer and then avert eye contact and go back to her work. But if she is curious she will hold eye contact for just a second longer than necessary to encourage you to continue. And continue you shall until she looks down again into her work.
This girl just moved from North Carolina into the Washington DC area a week prior. She had only a couple friends here and no knowledge of the local scene and the cool places to hang out in. We had a lot to talk about and I gamed her like I would any other girl I was physically interested in.
Forty minutes into the conversation, I noticed that she did not ask me a single question. A girl asking you personal questions is the number one way to tell if she is interested you or not, because that’s how she sizes you up as a potential hook-up, lover, or boyfriend. They ask your name, age, job, and basic background information during that initial meet. When a girl likes you, she wants to know who you are.
A conversation with someone you just met who doesn’t ask about you is not a fun conversation to be in, as it was in this case. I got the feeling that she was just bored and wanted someone to talk to, sort of like how some old people visit their doctors when they are not sick just to have a conversation with another human being.
I wasn’t particularly interested in her other than her looks, and I think it’s a waste of time to go after someone who is not engaging you, but towards the end of the conversation she gave me a slight nudge when she said she’d like more people to go out with. In most circumstances, this will be a blatant hint that a girl wants to go out with you, but to this girl, who didn’t even ask my name in now one hour of conversation, it didn’t mean too much.
So here’s what I did…
I told her there is this awesome place i go to on Saturday afternoons with friends and she was invited to join. I wrote down the place on a piece of paper and left my email address and a stick figure drawing of me. If she likes me as just a fellow human being, at the absolute minimum she will email and thank me for the local advice I gave her during our conversation.
She didn’t email me. Not a big deal but I wasn’t surprised.
If you are talking to a girl for a while and wondering if she likes you or not, all that matters is if she is asking you questions. Even extremely shy girls will do this.
If by about the twenty minute mark she doesn’t at least ask you for your name or age or occupation, then that means she doesn’t care about who you are. Again, no big deal, because not every girl is going to want it, but me and my soy latte will be better prepared for the next one who does.
About Author: Rooshv is a straight-talking PUA who happens to also have a degree in microbiology. After starting the successful blog DC Bachelor (which he later changed to Roosh V out of fear that his employers would fire him for the ideas he published) he switched careers and became a full-time sex & dating blogger and guru. His first book is called “Bang”. While finishing up work on his second book, he is steadily blogging and leading workshops for men on how to get laid.