Years ago a friend told me that if you slap someone with your bare hand, you will feel as much pain as the person you slapped. And it’s true — the skin receptors in your hand can not tell the difference if it is doing the slapping or if it is being slapped. This is probably why my mom preferred to beat me with a broom.
I was at a club with a girl I had been on one date with. We hadn’t had sex yet, but I definitely wanted to. When I look back in my dating history at girls that really got me going, I noticed they were all very good at teasing me.
These girls knew how to restrain themselves and postpone some pleasure now for more pleasure later. I understood this concept and was using it on girls, but I would often give in because I was impatient and horny.
Now, I realize that anticipation of intimacy is more arousing than intimacy itself. Anticipation of a kiss is more arousing than the kiss itself. You can suck face with someone for one hour, but after time you will get less from that kiss.
My date and I already kissed before so there wasn’t going to be any major surprise in this club, but what I would do is get very close to her lips and barely brush against them with mine without kissing her, and then pull back. Her head would follow me back, until she realized I wasn’t going to kiss her. She would smile and I would smile, and we’d take a sip of our drink and dance a little more.
That night I would do the pull back game for almost two hours without kissing her once, until we were both ready to explode (when you tease someone, you tease yourself by the same amount). She had no idea that I was going through a harder time than she was.
This idea works with emotions too: it is impossible not to feel the emotions you try to make others feel. If you want a girl to fall in love with you, and you seduce her successfully, you will also fall in love with her. Knowing this is incredible because it says that you can feel whatever emotion you try to create in others.
If I want to feel passion, I just have to make someone else feel it. If I want to feel love, I just have to make someone else feel love. Unfortunately many people unknowingly use this for negative emotions such as jealousy, fear, and anger, wondering why they are can’t find someone who makes them feel good.
I drove my date home and in my bedroom she gave me absolutely no resistance. She let me do whatever I wanted to do.
After that night, does it mean I can stop teasing her? It doesn’t. No matter what date number we’re on, both of us have to keep the sexual tension tight to keep the good feelings going. The moment either of you stops putting in work to induce maximal pleasure is the moment the relationship will fade out. Because anyone can just keep making out. But not many cannot.
The only way I learned how to tease a girl was by taking mental notes on all the girls I was hooking up and having sex with. If what they did felt really good to me, I figured it would feel good to a girl as well. Most of what I learned about how to please women and satisfy them actually comes from girls.
But before you can get to the point where you are teasing and kissing a girl, you need to know how to build attraction. It used be painful for me because there would be a girl I liked and I had no idea how to kiss her, and no idea how to get her in bed. I had the desire, but I didn’t have the knowledge. It took me years to learn that knowledge, and another year to put it down in writing in my book Bang, which focuses on how to build attraction, how to get girls on dates, and what to do on those dates to get things into the bedroom. To learn more…
About Author: Rooshv is a straight-talking PUA who happens to also have a degree in microbiology. After starting the successful blog DC Bachelor (which he later changed to Roosh V out of fear that his employers would fire him for the ideas he published) he switched careers and became a full-time sex & dating blogger and guru. His first book is called “Bang”. While finishing up work on his second book, he is steadily blogging and leading workshops for men on how to get laid.