Like a picture is worth a thousand words, a woman’s body language communicates more to you than she ever could (or would) tell you aloud.

Or at least it can communicate that much – if you know how to read it. In learning the secret and mysterious language of women, you will never be fluent if you only learn how to interpret what she’s saying; you also must learn how to interpret the messages she’s conveying silently.

The secret and mysterious language of women, in fact, is rooted in body language and not in words.

When you talk to a woman, she is actually paying much less attention to the words you’re speaking than you think, and a lot more attention to the silent messages your body language is conveying.

Let me say that again, only more succinctly: for women, your body language ALWAYS speaks louder than your words. In communicating with you, body language is actually more important to women than conversation.

That’s because it’s a clearer and more honest indicator of your true thoughts and feelings than what you say with your mouth. “Talk is cheap,” says the woman. “Show me you mean it.” And if your mouth is saying one thing and your body another, which do you think she’s going to go with? She’s going to trust your silent signals (or really, her interpretation of them – though as a whole women are much more expert readers of body language than men are) over your spoken ones. Every time.

Why does she do this to you and herself? Doubt your words and trust your body language instead? The answer is surprisingly simple – because she knows how she communicates, and it’s not by being straightforward and up-front. She knows herself well. She knows that she doesn’t usually say what she means. That her true thoughts and feelings remain unspoken. She knows that her words can’t be trusted, because she says one thing when she means another. And so she presumes this of you.

She assumes that because she’s this way, you must be this way too. It’s not really that far-fetched a misconception. After all, you expect her to mean what she says and say what she means, which is really a guy thing. So if you’re expecting her to communicate with you like a man, wouldn’t it only make sense that she would expect you to communicate with her like a woman.

It’s a wonder the two ever connect!

Body Language to Use with Women
With all that in mind, here are a few general body language tips to practice when facing an attractive woman.

Hold eye contact longer than she does. It’s a fatal mistake that most men make when they break eye contact with a woman. If you look away first, then you’re conveying a weakness of character that is a turn-off to women. They don’t want to see any sign of self-consciousness in you; that’s not sexy. They want to see that you’re sure enough of yourself to know that you find her attractive and aren’t afraid to let her know it. Let her be the one to break the eye contact. Then you’ll know you’re getting somewhere.

Whether sitting or standing, get it straight. That means sit up straight or stand up straight, whichever is most appropriate. Suck in your gut, soldier, shoulders back, head up. Have a little boot camp drill sergeant in your head reminding you while you’re out and about. These are the hallmarks of a confident man, and a confident man is an attractive man (so say women). No leaning, no slouching; these are the hallmarks of the insecure and ambivalent male. Hold yourself like you own the place. Like this is your party, you’re the host and guest of honor, and everyone is there because of you. Incidentally, don’t err in the opposite direction and make it look like there’s a stick up your ass, either.

Control your hands. It’s alarming how few people feel comfortable holding their arms down at their sides. Looking at it, it’s a very attractive posture. It conveys power, poise, openness, courage, and so many other positive traits. But doing it is another story.

For most people, holding their arms down at their sides makes them feel vulnerable, awkward, exposed, shy, ashamed. So people move their hands about, rest their chin in them, hold drinks, fiddle with cocktail straws and napkins, fondle cigarettes, fold their arms, crack their knuckles, bite their nails, and so on. This fidgety behavior is distracting, disconcerting, and generally off-putting; it’s a sign of insecurity. Be conscious of your hands and arms and what they are doing. When they are not doing anything (like briefly touching the small of her back or her shoulder blade), they should be at your sides (if you’re standing) or on your lap (if you’re sitting). This way, they don’t take away from the awesome presence you’re making.

Slow the F down! Make every move deliberate, or don’t move at all. Along the same lines as the previous advice, any physical action you take should be intentional, purposeful, planned. Any movement not so deliberate is a distraction, a cover-up for low self-esteem. Less is more, in body language. Don’t act like you don’t know what to do with yourself, like you’re not comfortable inside your own skin, or no woman’s going to want anything to do with you. One way to move more deliberately is to slow down. When you’re the secure, sexy, confident “real” man that women so desperately pursue, you’re not in a rush to get anywhere or do anything.

You’re already just where you want to be – in the here and now inside your own perfect body in your own perfect life. You don’t need anything about this moment to change to feel any better. You couldn’t feel any better, because you’re already at peace. If you can convey this with your body language, then any woman you set your sigEvery timehts on will most likely want a piece of it for themselves. One way to do this is to make every last movement slow and deliberate. Only anxious and unhappy people are in a hurry – because they’re always looking for something that would make their lives better than what they’ve already got