The Ten Most Dangerous Mistakes
YOU Probably Make With Women—
And What To Do About It
YOU Probably Make With Women—
And What To Do About It
Here Are The Top Ten Reasons Why Men Fail With Women And How To Make Sure YOU Avoid Every One Of These Deadly Common Mistakes…
-By David DeAngelo, Author Of Double Your Dating
MISTAKE #1: Being
Too Much Of A Nice Guy
Have you ever noticed that the really attractive women never seem to be attracted to "nice" guys?
Of course you have.
Just like me, I'm sure you've had attractive female friends that always seemed to date "jerks"… but for some reason they were never romantically interested in YOU.
What's going on here?
It's actually very simple…
Women don't base their choices of men on how "nice" a guy is. They choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them.
And guess what?
Being nice doesn't make a woman FEEL that powerful ATTRACTION.
And being NICE doesn't make a woman CHOOSE you.
I realize that this doesn't make a lot of logical sense, and it's hard to ACCEPT… but GET OVER IT.
Until you accept this FACT and begin to act on it, you'll NEVER have the success with women that you want.
MISTAKE #2: Trying To
"Convince Her To Like You"
What do most guys do when they meet a woman that they REALLY like… but she's just not interested?
Right! They try to "convince" the woman to feel differently.
Well, I have news for you… YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A WOMAN "FEELS" WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION!
Never, ever, EVER.
You cannot CONVINCE a woman to feel differently about you with "logic and reasoning".
Think about it.
If a woman doesn't "feel it" for you, how in the world do you expect to change that FEELING by being "reasonable" with her?
But we all do it.
When a woman just isn't interested, we beg, plead, chase, and do our best to change her mind.
Bad idea. One that will never work.
MISTAKE #3: Looking To Her
For Approval Or Permission
In our desire to please women (which we mistakenly think will make them like us), us guys are always doing things to get a woman's "approval" or "permission".
Another HORRIBLE idea.
Women are NEVER attracted to the types of men who kiss up to them… EVER.
Don't get me wrong here.
You don't have to treat women BADLY for them to like you.
But if you think that treating a woman well means "always getting her approval and permission for things", think again.
You will never succeed by looking for approval. Women actually get ANNOYED at men who seek their approval.
Doubt me? Just ask any attractive woman if Wussy guys who chase her around and want her approval annoy her…
MISTAKE #4: Trying To Buy Her
Affection With Food And Gifts
How many times have you taken a woman out to a nice dinner, bought her gifts and flowers, and had her REJECT you for someone who didn't treat her even HALF as well as you did?
If you're like me, then you've had it happen a LOT.
Well guess what?
It's only NATURAL when this happens…
That's right, I said NATURAL.
When you do these things, you send a clear message:
"I don't think you'll like me for who I am, so I'm going to try to buy your attention and affection".
Your good intentions usually come across to women as over-compensation for insecurity, and weak attempts at manipulation. That's right, I said that women see this as MANIPULATION.
MISTAKE #5: Sharing
How You Feel Too Early In
The Relationship With Her
Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most men make with women is sharing how they "feel" too early on.
Attractive women are rare.
And they get a LOT of attention from men.
Most men don't realize this, but attractive women are being approached in one way or another ALL THE TIME.
An attractive woman is often approached several times a DAY by men who are interested. This translates into dozens of times per week, and often HUNDREDS of times per month.
And guess what?
Attractive women have usually dated a LOT of men.
That's right. They have EXPERIENCE.
They know what to expect.
And one thing that turns an attractive women off and sends her running away faster than just about anything is a guy who starts saying "You know, I really, REALLY like you" after one or two dates.
This signals to the woman that you're just like all the other guys who fall for her too fast… and can't control themselves.
Don't do it. Lean back. Relax.
There's a much better way…
MISTAKE #6: Not Getting How
Attraction Works For Women
Women are VERY different from men when it comes to ATTRACTION.
You need to accept this fact, and deal with it.
When a man sees a beautiful, young, sexy woman, he INSTANTLY feels a sexual attraction.
But does the same apply for women?
Do women feel sexual attraction to men based mostly on looks? Or is something else going on?
Well, after studying this topic for over five full years now, I can tell you that women usually have their "attraction mechanisms" triggered by things OTHER than looks.
Have you ever noticed that you see a lot more average and unattractive men with beautiful women than the other way around?
Think about it.
Women are more attracted to certain qualities in men… and they're attracted to the way a man makes them FEEL than they are to looks alone.
If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman.
But it's not an accident. You have to LEARN how to do this.
And ANY guy can learn how…
MISTAKE #7: Thinking That It
Takes Money And Looks
One of the most common mistakes that guys make is giving up before they've even gotten started… because they think that attractive women are only interested in men who have looks and money… or guys who are a certain height… or guys who are a certain age.
And sure, there are some women who are only interested in these things.
But MOST women are far more interested in a man's personality than his wallet or his looks.
There are personality traits that attract women like a magnet…
And if you learn what they are and how to use them, YOU can be one of these guys.
YOU DO NOT have to "settle" for a woman just because you aren't rich, tall, or handsome.
Let me say this again: If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly,you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman.
MISTAKE #8: Giving Away
All Of Your Power To Women
Earlier I mentioned that it's a mistake to look to a woman for approval or permission.
Well, another similar tactic that a lot of guys use is GIVING AWAY THEIR POWER to women.
Said differently, guys try to get women to like them by doing whatever the woman wants.
Another bad idea…
Women are NEVER attracted to men that they can walk all over… Women aren't attracted to Wussies!
MISTAKE #9: Not Knowing EXACTLY What To Do In Each Type Of Situation With Women
Now I'm going to blow your mind…
A woman ALWAYS knows what you're thinking.
Women are approximately TEN TIMES better than men at reading body language. That's ten TIMES.
I know, it might be hard to believe. But for example, if you're out on a date with a woman, and you want to kiss her, she knows it.
And if you don't know exactly what to do and exactly HOW to kiss her, and you just sit there looking at her and getting nervous, she won't help!
And this goes for ALL aspects of women and dating…
Approaching a woman, getting her number, asking her out, kissing her, getting physical… everything.
If you don't know what to do in each situation, you will probably screw it up… and LOSE EVERYTHING.
And you KNOW it.
It is VITALLY important that you know EXACTLY how to go from one step to the next with a woman… from the first meeting, all the way to the bedroom.
MISTAKE #10: Not Getting HELP
This is the biggest mistake of all.
This is the mistake that keeps most men from EVER having the kind of success with women that they truly want.
I know, guys don't like to make themselves look weak or helpless. We don't like to ask for help.
Hey, I've been there myself.
Let me tell you a little about me and how I figured out how to be successful with women…
About five years ago I became fed up with the fact that I didn't know how to approach, meet, and get dates with women that I was attracted to.
It frustrated the hell out of me.
One night I was out with a friend, and I saw a woman I wanted to ask out, but I just couldn't get up the nerve to do it. I can still remember that night… right on the spot I made the decision to do whatever it took to learn how to be successful with women and dating.
Well, after a lot of hard work and trying all kinds of crazy things, I finally figured it all out.
I can now approach just about any woman and get her number almost instantly. I've dated models, I've dated actresses, and I've dated nice, normal, regular girls as well.
It has been a very rewarding experience. I no longer feel that sick, insecure feeling… like I don't know how to meet women… and I might wind up alone.
I know that anytime, anywhere, I can go out and meet attractive women.
I've written a book on the topic, and I've done seminars on both coasts of the United States… and taught tens of thousands of men all around the world.
I Now Have A FREE, Three-Times-A-Week Email Newsletter…
...But the REALLY GREAT news is that I now publish a free email newsletter three times a week that teaches any guy how to increase his success with women DRAMATICALLY.
And I'd like to invite you to sign up.
It's free, there's no obligation, I'll never share your email address with anyone, and you can easily remove yourself anytime with no hassles (and no, I'll never pull any of these tricks where I send you a bunch of unwanted junk email when you try to remove yourself).
Of course, it even get's better than that…
In addition to my free email newsletter, I also have a killer downloadable eBook that you can download right now and be reading in literally MINUTES from right now.
It's JAM PACKED with dozens and dozens of specific strategies for overcoming fear, approaching women, getting phone numbers and email address from women quickly, great inexpensive or even free date ideas, and how to take things to a "physical" level smoothly and easily.
To sign up for my free three-times-a-week newsletter AND download your copy of this online eBook, just go here:
Free Newsletter And Download eBook
Oh, And One More Thing…
In this day and age of "instant gratification", I realize that this might just sound like another late-night info-mercial promising to make you rich by next week.
Well, that's not the case.
I've spent a lot of time, effort, and energy writing this eBook. I wanted to design and create a program that ANY guy could easily understand and start using IMMEDIATELY to meet and date more women… without having to lie, do dishonest things, or be "manipulative".
I now believe that ANY man can be more successful with women and dating, and I get emails every day with success stories from guys who are using this program to meet and date wonderful women.
I know, I know… an ebook that can teach a regular guy how to be more successful in the dating world? No way.
Well believe me, this program will DRAMATICALLY increase your success with women… I absolutely guarantee it 100%.
If you'd like to take your success with women and dating to the next level, and have the kind of success that you've always wanted, then go sign up for my free newsletter, get all the details, and check out some great free samples of the eBook located here:
Free Newsletter And Download eBook
And I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David DeAngelo
P.S. Do some friends a favor, and FORWARD this article to their email addresses. It might be the biggest gift you ever give them. (Click ShareThis below)
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I like advice #7
i think i'll try it
TIPS:
Everybody you meet in online dating are the same exact people you will meet in non-online dating. There is no such thing as waiting for “the natural” moment in the real world. If it existed it would have already happened for you decades ago. Online dating is the best chance to meet single people in any large city.
The single most important thing to realize is that "chemistry" is a series of bio-chemical and audio-visual reactions to the way a person looks and how they remind you of subconscoius things in-person. It does not work-over the internet. Chemistry is not a metaphysical thing. You will not be able to decide about a person unless you meet them in person. The internet is just a place to see that certain people are single. The way that media has programmed you, the type of people the media have told you are attractive and the look and feel of the people you have gathered around you will determine how the 42+ different psycho-visual, olfactory and other sensory reactions determine if you will allow yourself to be attracted to one person over another.
1. Generally: People have made up their mind about whether or not they want to be with you 15 minutes after you have met them. Generally, men make up their minds more quickly than women because they are sensorial reactive. Decision processing is usually dramatically out-of-sync between genders based on genetic hunter/gatherer evolutionary programming. Both genders need to adjust to find the happy medium..
2. Most internet dates end in the first few emails because of misinterpretation. Many people are typing on their cell phone or iphone or they are at work or they are joking and you can’t see it in email. Do not make prejudgments based on the first few emails, they are often wrong or unfair to the other person.
3. A large number of people follow “the third date” rule. This means that if the two of you have not decided to be intimate by the third date you probably never will.
4. Almost a majority of first meetings are cancelled by one of the two people just prior to meeting because people feel no commitment to a stranger. Do not be surprised if people using the service are not too motivated re: the first meeting as many have been through these out-of-the-blue cancellations already.
5. Men are genetically ingrained to be territorial. Women’s men “friends” may suddenly nay-say the new guy, use psychological tricks to create stress and suddenly confess their “secret love” for you in order to cut the new guy off at the knees. As soon as your guy friends, ex husband, old boyfriend, (even your children) etc, hear that you have a date, they will often try to jack-up your plans in order to protect their turf. If you are divorced then you usually already have a conflict relationship over child custody and schedules, watch for the ex-husband to constantly change child pick-up times, days to pick-up and other schedule shifts at the last minute if he suspects you have dating plans. Stand firm on your plans so you are not victimized by the ex-husband’s territorial strategies
6. Many single people have an obsessive relationship with their pets if they are single. Consider how much you talk about or plan your life around your pet.
7. Men have a hard time talking about feelings.
8. Meet as soon as possible. A majority of people that spend time talking, first, on this online dating, seem to be disappointed. The majority have a wonderful set of emails and phone calls and think they have met the love of their life. .. but when they meet, the chemistry is not there and both parties are twice as hurt by the brick wall because they have already created expectations and wishful thinking via advance communication. Most people find each other adorable on hours of phone calls but only 1% of the people said they had chemistry in person and vice versa. That has been the story that most other users on online dating have posted in tens of thousands of blogs so this appears to be the consensus of a general trend. Just an FYI. One would be losing relationships if they try to force a computer system to act human by using it for the initial interaction. You have to meet in the real world to not get screwed up by the computer and its process. One has to get out of the digital/chat room world as fast as they can and into the tangible real world of touch, vision and the other senses. Another reason for meeting soon is that people blog that a large number of people they start emailing with, suddenly cancel future meetings because someone else they were emailing with met them sooner. In many cases, when they have to book the first meeting a week or more out, they will contact you the day before and cancel the meeting because they starting seeing others they dated within that week delay. Most connections never happen because someone else gets there first.
9. Sexual politics have killed off a majority of first dates. While it may seem rude or inappropriate to discuss sex on the first few dates, it is a large part of “dating”. If you get down the road and have actual sex only to find that you have two different styles, then the whole relationship is over in minutes after weeks or months of wasted “dating”. Kissing and petting are key to testing the waters early. Also, if you have not gone into Walgreen’s and asked the pharmacist for the “Home Access Express HIV Test Kit” , gotten a Gardisil vaccination and acquired “Plan B” pills (Google these if you don’t know what they are) then you are not ready to even go there. Condoms leak, spillover and break so must have these back-ups in place.
10. Brush your teeth and take Breath Assure tablets. Bad breath kills off many dates.
11. Know what you really want. Most people are specifically looking for marriages, sex, babies, distractions, fun, social status, therapy or other certain things. Compare notes on your actual needs in the first date. There is nothing wrong with just looking for sex, the volume of people is higher with computer dating so the odds are better, just be clear up front. In fact few people can have “just sex” without falling in love afterwards.
12. People with kids are able to date just as much as people without kids if they have a balanced life. Most single parents are able to get 3 full nights a week totally to themselves. If you can’t pull this off, talk to a parent who does to figure it out.
13. Don’t discuss emotional topics in email with someone you have never met.
14. On spending money: Women expect men to pay and men expect women to practice the “womens liberation” they fought for. Women want proof of stability and men want sexual reciprocation. Men get burned out buying a string of meals for strangers they will never see again. Men feel used and women feel diminished if the man doesn’t pay…This is the hardest subject in dating. Manage expectations on this from the beginning.
15. We live in an age where advertising and media train us to be attracted to certain facial types: sorority girl looks like fraternity guy looks, biker guy looks like biker girl looks, hipster guy looks like hipster girl types. Realize that we are all being forced to be superficial by this. Try to get past this, or you will miss people who are, otherwise, perfect matches.
16. Exchange cell phone numbers for the first meeting. Most people do not look like their pictures and many people never find each other the first time. Use a Google-voice number or get a $27.00 phone from Walgreens if you don’t want to give out your real number.
17. Where to meet is a political consideration. People who have done a few weeks of internet dating know that 99% of the first meetings don’t click and they will never see that person again , so they are hesitant to go too far for a first meeting . Women think men should drive to their location. Men think that they are going to have to pay for everything so the women should come to them. A good fix is to meet half-way.
18. In life you have gathered people that are very similar to you around you in order to create a controlled and comfortable insulation. In online dating you will meet the full breadth of people and they are of every type. Be prepared to broaden your horizons.
19. If you feel the need to tell people that “you need to go slow” (A concept foreign to most men) or “are still hurt from your last relationship”.. you may not be ready to date. Not only are most people on a dating site eager and willing to be in a relationship, but things move much faster online than not online. Don’t hurt yourself, and others, by using a dating site for therapy. People on dating sites go fast, generally.
20. If you are wanting to blow somebody off and you are online dating, do not say you have “met someone” and then leave your profile up. If they see your profile still up or get a notice (such as match.com sends out to everybody each time you go into your profile) they may feel lied to.
i was i n a relation with a girl from last 3 years now we broke up because in her family they didnt like me …….. so i love very badly i want her back wat do i do ………..
hey thanks mate for the advice.I think it really works coz i've been doing the same mistakes..From now i'll never do it again.
GR88 mINDSS…
i need a woman
Read it..applied it..works!
Hey I was wondering if you could help me with my situation. I just purchased your material and am getting to it asap but i already screwed up. is there any way to redeem myself. Please let me know.
I really enjoyed. I would visit more
From Great Persia.
Thanks a lot.
This is very good advice. The only part I would take issue with is the statement "You will never change how a woman feels when it comes to attraction." I know from experience that you can. I met a guy who was pleasant but bald and shorter than me and initially I felt no attraction. However he pursued me without ever appearing soft or weak, in fact over time he impressed me with his alpha male qualities and by making me feel so special that I ended up being crazy about him.
Women are not attracted to weak, wussy men who let women walk all over them - the so-called 'nice guys'. We are attracted to manly men who show their admiration and treat us well while always appearing confident and in control of the situation and never relinquishing their power. He is absolutely right when he says you do not need looks or money to achieve this. What you need is confidence in yourself.
hey David what you had posted is such a very good help to those stupid guys that don't know what to do when seeing a women like me… tsk tsk tsk tsk
p.s kolera_boy
nice advice
how can I make girls to love me, and always wanting to be around me.
Mistake number 6 and 7 are a mistake in of themselves; because physical appearance is the first and foremost important thing that women look for. And that is a fact. I have about twenty years of experience and those twenty years have shown me that it is indeed a FACT that physical looks is THE most important thing that women look at before even approaching or letting a guy approach them. Sorry but the notion that it is not all about physical looks is completely false.
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