One of the main issues I contend with, when dealing with my students is their idea of not being attractive enough to attract women.
There are various sizes and shapes of insecurity, such as:
- Some men think they are too old.
- Some think they're too fat.
- They could be too short.
- Some men think they are too ugly.author
Many men feel hopeless when it comes to attracting the woman they desire, because of such feelings.
But lucky for all of us - this simply isn't the case.
Here we can dismiss a few myths concerning attraction, which may be holding you back from a successful love life.
Myth #1 - You must be good looking to attract women.
All you have to do is look around at the various types of guys in this world who are dating gorgeous women to know
that this isn't the case.
Simply put, it is essential to look good regardless of your physical attractiveness.
What's the difference?
Although you cannot control whether you are good looking or not, however you do have control of how you present yourself. You do control how you groom and the clothes you wear, your hairstyle, how you smell and so on.
Presentations of these types of features play a role in looking good.
Taking control of your appearance makes any man more attractive.
Myth #2 - Women Think Just As Men Do
Naturally, we all think that everyone sees things in the same way you see those things.
For instance - If you've ever had a pimple on your forehead that felt so big, it was like everyone could see it. But the pimple was under the skin, and in reality, no one but you could tell it was there.
Very few people if any will notice, while to you it is obvious.
Naturally, we practice this attitude while summing others up. Do you judge a woman by the way she looks? Of course you do, since you are able to determine by visually appraising her whether you think she is attractive.
So naturally, you assume women are going to size you up the same exact way.
This assumption is a mistake.
Women have different criteria for determining attraction than men do. That's not to say they don't care if a man is attractive or not. But they don't place as much importance on physical characteristics as us guys do.
To women, attraction is based more around how men make them feel, rather than how the men look. That is why women are attracted to confidence and social status. They're attracted to men who make them laugh. They're attracted to men who are good at what they do. See how this works? Looks have very little to do with any of this.
Myth #3 - Women Notice Our Insecurities
Since we know our own selves, much better than anyone in the world ever will, we easily find and pay attention to our every single shortcoming, such as our receding hairline, weak chin, and our big ears and nose and so on.
We notice these small flaws, no matter what they may be.
Since we see it very plainly, we merely assume everyone else can too. Nevertheless, many individuals are not observant at all, unless they search for and issue to analyze about you. If you have insecurities, as we all do most likely they wont even care, since we all focus so highly of our own.
Many men may call attention to their shortcomings while trying to dismiss and diffuse the things that make them feel insecure. Consequently, all this type of behavior does is managing to call the attention of the woman to the area of insecurity; otherwise, she may not even notice it.
Besides, insecurity is very unattractive. Think about it.
In order for your positive qualities to outshine those that you find negative, you must always face every situation with a focus on your good qualities rather than any insecurity.
Myth #4 - Attractive Men Have It Easy
This is probably the biggest myth there is - that if a guy is good looking, girls will automatically flock to him.
Good looking guys have their own struggles with women. Sure, being physically attractive helps them initially, but in the long run, they have teh same issues other men have.
Attraction is the art of magnifying the emotional connection that a woman feels for you, when you are around, this connection will only occur when you are around her, therefore to feel those feelings she will want you to be around her.
When a man matches the physical type of man, a woman prefers she naturally gravitates towards him, simply because those features appeal to her. Those feelings go away if she considers the man to be incompatible, a jerk or a bore.
Do you know that a woman may not at first find a man to be physically attractive and then somehow experience thrilling fun and pleasure; she will become attracted to him in time?
Making others feel good causes them to want to be with you, this is a fundamental of attraction.
You don't have to be a good guy to make women feel good! You just need to know how to interact with them.
But the second aspect to this equation is SEXUAL attraction.
Sexual attraction is not only making a woman feel good by being around you, but arousing their passion as well.
This is when seduction comes into play.
When you begin to lead a woman down the path of sexual attraction, even if you don't look like Brad Pitt, she's going to begin to see you in a whole new light - despite any of the shortcomings you may think you have.
About the author: Meet Women by signing up for Joseph Matthew's free dating tips, where you can get all the latest tips and secrets on http://www.artofapproaching.com
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Not trying to brag or anything, but I am good looking. Not because I think I am, but people say it all the time, so there's that.
You're right, when a good looking man walks into a bar or club, women DO notice him, and hope that he will approach them (very unlikely that THEY will actually approach you, though… depends a lot on where you live, but even if women are a lot "aggressive" there it just won't happen a lot).
I gotta say, though, all this RARELY makes things easy. Women might be dying for you to get to them, but when you do, if you are an insecure guy near women (like I am most of the time), it will just ruin it for her, doesn't matter how handsome you are.
I'm working on that though (especially the body language part), and in the last few months things are getting a lot better. Still a long way to go, but really, saying that being good looking makes it easy is just plain… wrong. It just gives you an ego boost for about five minutes when you get to the party and half the women around turn their heads to take a look. Not much more than that, really.
Sorry but numbers one and four are not myths but fact.
Women are attracted to physically good-looking men that looks like models.
Attractive men do have it easy, as soon as an attractive man walks into a bar or a club and women notice him; they are already thinking of either how to approach him or hope that he will notice and approach them.